Family business

Menick says he has some sort of family business this weekend, but he did manage to squeeze out a new episode (audio / pdfio) Whatever. The sooner he catches up with us the better. As it is, the Mite is in a state of permanent depression over this whole journalist-moves-next-store-to-Palin business to write a biography of her. According to the Nostrumite, a good biographer ought to be able to live across the street, or even in another neighborhood entirely. He's told me point blank that when I go all Boswell on him, if I try to move next door to him and his kids he'll build a fence the size of Cleveland and out me to the media on a daily basis. Much like Palin, actually. I know that I, for one, have no intention of moving next door to Palin or the Mite or, for that matter, anyone else I don't want to see as President. There's too many of them out there for that.

Maybe it's time for a new narrator...

Thanks to Menick's vacation, we were on hiatus for a couple of weeks, which just doesn't seem right. I mean, we're the ones who do all the work. All he does is read them aloud, and not even all that well. James Earl Jones he ain't! And if that weren't enough, the Nostrumite is in a state of permanent depression over the whole CatNats topics brouhaha. He's going to be in Omaha judging PuFo, and as far as he's concerned, the topic is about as biased as a Pope in a nunnery. Lucky him. I'm going along with him and the Tennessee Williams High School team to cover their LD entry (am I a mensch or what?), and I'm going to have to listen to a bunch of yabbos explain why non-citizens should be allowed to vote. Oy. I mean, I'm a non-citizen of France. Is there some good reason why I should be able to vote in French elections?

Welcome to the Bahamas.

Anyhow, we seem to be back in business, and episode 16 is now available (lovely written version / despicable spoken version). We'll try to get Menick (who's not going to Omaha because of a family event he can't get out of) to catch up over the weekend and maybe get back on track. It's one thing to take the summer off. It's another thing entirely to go on vacation in the middle of the school year. Hell, just the thought of it is giving me a little permanent depression myself.

Apparently the natives are getting restless

I, for one, do not understand it. Whole bunches of Menick's kids (translated into purer math, that would be 2) have complained that the debate world is not infested with vampires. Which debate world are they living in? Vampires, werewolves, zombies, Unitarians—you can't swing a cat without hitting one or the other of them. Needless to say, this has put the Nostrumite into a state of permanent depression over the lack of the ability of the youth of America to appreciate metaphor. "If something as simple as this trips them up," he moans, "what happens if we use syllogism or litotes or, even worse, double negatives?" The Mite, of course, is also prone to double positives, but that's another story altogether.

Speaking of stories, Menick jumped the gun last night and put out another episode. He's getting pretty close to clearing out the warehouse if you ask us, but we won't stop him, at least not yet. If you've got your glasses, you can read it, and if you've got your ear trumpet, you can listen. It's entirely up to you. Same price, either way.

See you in the funny papers.

That's the worst New Hampshire accent ever!

Why we let Menick narrate this stuff is beyond me. I mean, Dude Firmguns is supposed to sound like a New Englander. If that's New England, my name is Uriah Heep!

Obviously we're in a Dickens of a mood this week, as a knowledgeable listen / read of the latest episode will demonstrate. The Nostrumite is in a state of permanent depression over Menick's leaving town. "He isn't much but he's all we got," the lad moans (although it's really hard to moan the phrase, "He isn't much but he's all we got"; try it, if you don't believe me). "And he's heading off to parts unknown and the Nostrum Nation must wait, unsatisfied, until he moseys back again. Feh!"

Yeah. Feh.

At least we're going on hiatus with a bang. This episode is twice as boring as usual supersized, running half again as long as normal. Enjoy it. Savor it. If you're listening to it, run it at half speed to make it last. If you're reading it, close one eye.

See you at the end of the month.